Learning to Fix Myself and the Anxiety

I don't think I have mentioned this before but my aunt and I have actually been trying to lose weight since last September and it has been quite a challenge. Counting calories was how I started, because of the weight I was at(which I'm sad to say was the biggest I have ever been) I could only eat about 1400 calories a day to start losing weight. My dad put me on a protein shake and showed me exercises I could do to to help me out. My dad had been on a diet for 6 months and had lost 20 pounds already, I think he is at 28 pounds right now, so it took him about a year to do.

       I just need to share a little background info first. Buy the time I started my diet I was just completely done feeling like crap, I had no control over the things I was eating and did not exercise at all. A couple months earlier in April I was almost in a depression, when I went to the doctors they told me that I had an anxiety disorder which was not a fun thing to go through. Some of the symptoms were rapid heart beat, sweating, nausea, hyperventilating, depression, and Insomnia. When I am upset about things I have the habit of keeping things to myself and not talking to anyone, which was one thing that led me to this disorder. I did not feel like I was stressed out but my body was telling me that I actually was and that I needed to do something to fix it. The doctor had recommended for me to start exercising and talking out my problems with Javier more or with someone in my family to let them know how I was feeling.

   By May I was started to feel a little better and then everything came crashing down. My brother in law called me early in the morning and told me that Javier was being held and was going to be deported. I was so upset and afraid. I was terrified that all the anxiety would come back. Around August I could start to feel my symptoms coming back and knew that there was something I had to do to be healthier. My dad told me that I should try counting calories and exercising again and maybe that would help me feel better about myself and some of the situations I was being placed in.

As usual my dad was right. Counting calories to me worked out really well because it was easy and  I was still eating whatever I wanted, I did not feel cheated. I also started doing the stair stepper and lifting weights every other day. After I started my diet my aunt decided that she wanted to join me because it is always easier when you have someone else doing it with you and we kind of had a little race going to see who could lose more. I am happy to report that since then I have been able to look at my situation differently and take things (especially the bad ones) a little easier as they come into my life. Relieving some of my stress through exercise and expressing myself more has definitely helped me these last couple of months.

As of early march my aunt and I are tied 22 lbs and it feels wonderful. I have so much more confidence,  energy, self esteem, and feel like I can handle a lot more than I could have this time last year. I have not had an anxiety attack in almost over a year. Don't get me wrong there were times when it just did not feel like it was working because I lost a lot of inches in the beginning instead of the pounds. Now that the pounds are gone though I can see that all my hard work has paid off and it is going to say that way. First big goal was to get to 20 pounds, next 30. Now I just take life one day and one pound at a time.