So I have been back with Javi for two months now and some days I have to say are better than others. It is a big adjustment for me just being here first of all and then having to get used to all the new personalites in his family is a whole other issue. In all honesty they are not that bad and have accepted me and welcomed me into their home and we are very grateful for everything. The only thing that sometimes drives me crazy is the way that they talk to eachother. Even though I am not fluent in spanish yet I am able to figure out enough words to know what the conversation is about. The problem is the topic does not really matter to them.
No matter the topic of conversation sometimes I can not tell if they are all in agreement with eachother or trying to up one another. I did not grow up with a loud competitve family. If we had a conversation and did not like or agree with what someone was saying usually we would just let it go or get it off our chest later with someone else instead of causing confrontations. Of course there as always disagreement but we did not raise our voices and yell at one another. In this house if they do not agree with what you say it is like they will keep yelling at eachother and fighting for what they think is right. Usually if I dont think Javi is right on a topic I will tell him how I feel or what I think and if he does not like my answer I just let it go until the truth actually comes out. It is so much more fun for me to throw it back in his face, than to sit there and argue with him about something.
I learned this very early on after a few big fights with Javi. The biggest one I can remember is when we were lost somewhere up in the mountains. I think I have a pretty good sense of direction so when Javi asked me which way I thought that we should go I told him that I had seen a sign and that we should turn left. Well since he had not seen the sign and thought he remembered going another way, of course we turned right. In the back of my mind I knew it was just not the direction we needed to be going but I let him take the wrong road just so I could laugh at him when he got even more lost. Of course he was soo pissed when he had to turn around and go all the way back but if he chose not to take my advice it was not my fault right? So from then on I learned to say what I needed to say and if he did not agree with me I would just let it go until.... he he ... is this evil? I dont really care any more.
In this house they all think they are right about everything, there is always something to be said and no matter what you say you are WRONG. It is kind of amazing to me that they can not just talk in a normal tone and have an actual conversation. After the first wrong thing is said someone's voice is raised and then it turns into an argument. I have confronted Javi on this and after they are done with the topic of conversation he will say " oh we were not fighting"
I think the biggest problem is my suegra she has such a loud kind of screaching voice that when she talks to everyone it seems as though she is yelling at you. Some mornings she comes out of her room so quiet and then once she gets annoyed out comes the voice. Other days it is like she comes out of the room like a raging bull ready to attack anyone that comes in her way. To me it is hilarious beacuase it is different every day. I just stay quiet and do whatever I need to do. It is not worth my time or stress level to sit there and listen to all their ranting. This has definetly shown me how much patience I never knew I had. For me to just walk away from them and tune them out is a lot.
Sometimes I am proven wrong though, which in this case is a very good thing.When everyones voices start to rise and everyone is talking at once I just think oh here we go again, now what are they fighting about, someone will start to laugh and then they just start making fun of eachother. Eventually I will be able to understand every word and what each person thinks but even then I will stay out of it because what it all comes down to is that if everyone thinks they are right what is the point. I will keep my normal tone of a conversation and know in the back of my mind that everyone has their own oppinions right or wrong. Or I will just do what I do with javi and wait for my moment to gloat because deep down I know I am right... he he... maybe I do fit in to his family.
5 comments:
On my first trip to Mexico I remember asking Saul, "Why is your mom so angry all the time?". "She's not angry."
"Then why does she yell at everyone?" "That's how she talks."
Even from our first meeting several years ago it wore on my nerves. Very loud, shouting, high-strung 24/7. Raging bull at all times except when very tired or sleeping. When we lived down the street, I would try to really mellow myself out before going over to their home, or before I knew they were coming over (most of the time I didn't know, though). And the more fired up she got, the calmer I became. It was how I stayed sane. :-)
HAHAHAHA for the most part, Jorge's family is pretty calm... except for his brothers. When they're around eachother, they curse at eachother for EVERYTHING. They're not really mad, but it for example Jorge leaves a glass on the table, one of his brothers might yell "Hey, PUTO, quita tu pinche vaso de la mesa! Eres bien puerco!" Ridiculous, but also hilarious.
Wow we are alike in that I don't bother with the arguing. B's family is always been loud but I'm used to that because my mom's family is loud too but not when it comes to fighting just in general.
The part that I love about B's family is that they can all be fighting and everything and the next morning they move on and put it all behind them. My dad's family is the opposite. At the moment none of the family talks to each other which is sad.
Also, I can tell too when my suegra is mad and like you I just go about my business. It's always hard to adjust to your new family. Hope everything works out amiga!
Good for you Lisa! My in-laws are really, really difficult. Hugo has issues with them all the time. He has a brother that he does not speak to and I think it is sad, but it is his family and his decision. Nevertheless, we still go visit his parents every Sunday and so do his brothers and sister. I just put on my "Sonrisa de Televisa" and play the part.
Leah, that sounds exactly like her. I have learned to just laugh at everything now or else I will lose it.
Laura, that pretty funny. But I am sure they are always able to amuse you and give you a good laugh.
Trinidad, my moms family is loud in general too but I could not imagine my family not talking to eachother over an argument. That would be terribly sad. It has been an adjustment living with them, but I am just glad I have not had anything that I cant handle, Yet!
Jackie, LOL. That is sad though that they do not speak. I am very glad that Javis family is close to one another because it would be horrible going from being so far away from my family which is very close on both my mom and dads side to not having that family bond here.
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